Me Without You
by AmbivalentSouls
Summary: PALEX. It's been 8 months since Alex has moved to Ajax and 8months since her breakup with Paige, but she still can't get her out of her mind.


**Yes. I know Palex is extremely old, (well, sorta). But this story is also pretty old, i just never felt like uploading it, and today I'm bored, so i thought, what the heck?**

**If you don't like Palex [Paige/Alex], don't read. :)**

**Please read if you have the time, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, and so are reviews. **

**Thanks!**

••••

Alex Nunez awoke to the now-familiar scent of the dingy, damp ceiling roofed above her, and the slow repetitive sound of a water droplet dripping somewhere nearby. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Indolently propping herself up on her elbows and blinking the sleep out of her eyes, the first thought that came to her on a cloudy Saturday morning was _'We should really get that leak fixed..'._

At least, she assumed it was the morning. She usually slept in on weekends, so for all she knew, it could be 1pm by now. Whatever. Time wasn't an issue in Alex's schedule, especially today, since Saturdays were mostly spent living on the couch watching marathons and re-runs of pointless crap shows. She made her way to the kitchen and habitually brewed up a cup of Jo. She grasped the mug with both her hands to take in the warmth, and took a look out the window, which was coated with a thin layer of icy fog, obscuring the view outside. So instead, she saw a faint but clear reflection of herself in the glass- her messy up-do, oversized sweatshirt, and the same baggy pair grey of sweatpants she wore to bed almost everyday (when it was hot, she much rather preferred a ginormous t-shirt and underwear). Looking at herself, she took a careful sip from her mug and pondered in the silence of the empty apartment.

It had been a good 8 months since she moved in with her cousin, to his apartment in Ajax, Ontario. A good 8 months since her relationship with Paige Michalchuk had come to a rough, but sure end. She was over her- that was a matter of fact. She was _so_ over her. Over the way she'd bite her lip when she was nervous or in deep thought, over the way her honey blonde hair would fall innocently over her face when she was reading university text books. She was over the way her eyes changed colour depending on the light, ranging from a misty grey-ish green to a peridot hue, over the way she'd laugh too loud and talk too much, and the way her lips would crease into a genuine smile when she told her she loved her.

Surely she was, over Paige Michalchuk...but then why did she find herself missing the days when she would wake up to the intoxicating sweet smell of coconut emanating from the blonde locks of her girlfriends hair, sleeping in bed beside her, and watch the rise and fall of her chest, listen to the soothing sound of her steady breathing instead of the annoying pitter patter of a dripping roof. The days when the first thoughts that came to her head in the morning were not about fixing a leak, or remembering that she forgot to clean out the fridge again- but thinking that there was nothing in the world that mattered to her more than the person right in front of her; that if she stared into her eyes long enough, maybe all the imperfections and problems in her life would fade away and cease to exist; that this girl- this crazy, quirky, beautiful girls face was the one thing she wanted to wake up to in the morning, every day, for the rest of her life.

Of course, that was 8 months ago. She had to stop thinking of the past, and hoping it would it come back to life and return to being in the present. The past was dead. Her relationship with Paige was dead. She had left on her own will, she lost her girlfriend to a fantasy world, to a world filled with superficial, artificial crap. She'd spent the last month of her relationship with Paige trying to fit herself into Paige's stupid schedule, trying to make it all work, dealing with all her trash. Some days she would find herself waking up alone, with nothing beside her but a sticky note attached to the side table saying that she had to go pick up dry cleaning today. Paige's new job became her number one priority, and she had shunned all other priorities out of her life- including spending time with her girlfriend, Alex.

She had chosen her professional life over her love life. Her job over Alex. She should hate her for it, despise her, loathe her...but she couldn't find it in her to do it. Why couldn't she hate her?

_Because you still care about her. Idiot._

Alex sighed and sat down at the table, running her fingers through her unkempt hair, and took another sip of coffee. Her train of thought was broken when her eyes noticed a petite white cardboard box resting on the counter top that she hadn't recalled being there the night before. She took another sip of coffee, licked her lips, put the mug down on the table, and stared at the package. Hmm, probably just something belonging to her cousin. But still- she was always a little bit on the nosy side, so she decided to take a peek.

She smelt it before she saw it. Inside the small, cardboard box was indeed a likely small sized circular cake, like the ones you could buy straight off the shelf at a bakery without placing an order- having the option to pitch in an extra 5 dollars if you wanted anything written in overpriced icing.

Beside it was a note- scribbled in her cousins messy cursive writing- written on the back of a grocery receipt. It look a bit smudged, like it had gotten wet in the rain and then dried up again. She furrowed her eyebrows in curiosity as she picked up the note with three fingers and read it:

_Sorry for not being here, another important business call- had to leave at 9am sharp._

Alex looked at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock beside her bed. It was 11:45AM. She unconsciously started picking at her lip- a recently bad habit, and continued reading:

_I'll be back on Monday. Food's in the fridge. I left the number for the Mandarin take out place on the fridge door, incase you wanted to order anything._

She found herself walking over to the fridge, and glanced at the number sticky-noted to the freezer, scribbled in a black sharpie marker. He seemed to have forgotten that the place was closed on weekends. Oh well. She opened the fridge door and checked inside.

Last nights tuna casserole and cold pizza. Yum. At least it was edible. Hopefully.

Closing the door and returning to her original spot in front of the cake box, she sighed and almost laughed to herself out of surprise when she read what was written on the bottom of the receipt out loud to herself.

_Happy Birthday._

When did that happen? Holy crap. Taking a quick look at the calendar hanging on the wall beside the microwave, she realize it was, in fact, February the 7th.

Alex didn't really care much about her birthday. To her, it was just another day of another year. Except you get one step closer to getting wrinkles and arthritis. Yay. Either way, she wasn't much of a party person. Going to house parties with some booze and dancing- sure- but not the whole birthday party inviting people and cakes and balloons and people singing to you sort of thing. She didn't like the attention. Besides, she didn't think any one really cared, and birthday parties cost money. Which she didn't have a lot of, then and now. Most of the time, her mom would forget anyways. In the past, Alex usually celebrated by getting stoned with Jay, or eating a few extra handfuls of the disfigured cookies her mom brought home from work. Sometimes both.

She did that every birthday. Ever birthday but last years. It was when she was living with Paige, crashing over at her house. Before Paige had gotten that ridiculous job, and things were good between them. She had awoken to her girlfriend wishing her happy birthday, and receiving a kiss on the cheek. The day was spent eating cake, getting fed cake, throwing cake at certain people (she couldn't help herself), celebrating with Paige and the gang (Marco, Ellie, Jay, etc.), and unwrapping presents (which she secretly _loved_ doing). Best of all, she got extra smooches from Paige, arguing that a birthday girl should be treated with an exceptional amount of affection- and Paige was all for it. It was definitely the most memorable, and romantic birthday on the list of 18 other not-so-memorable ones. She remembered Paige had put exactly 19 candles on her huge birthday cake, telling her it was for 19 wishes- and she remembered wishing for the same one thing 19 times in a row; that this day with her girlfriend would never end- that they would stay this close forever.

19 perfectly good wishes, gone to waste. Should've wished for a Mercedes.

She sighed and pushed the memories out of her head. At one point, they were memories she would replay in her head over and over again because they made her feel as light as a cloud, and warm and fuzzy on the inside, and smile without knowing it. Now she tried her best to get rid of them, bleach out everything, every special moment she had spent with her significant other that had once made her heart skip a beat. Now they made her feel like her guts were getting ripped out, and it made her chest ache, her head hurt, and her eyes burn.

No. She was not going to let her past memories with Paige ruin her special day. At that very moment, Alex decided that today, she was going to celebrate her birthday to the max. She was determined to have the best fun she'd ever had- and she was going to do it all without the help of Paige Michalchuk.

**Okay. I don't know how good that was. S: This was just something I wrote in my spare time, when i was bored, and obsessed with Palex (which i still am). It doesn't have an ending, i know. It's supposed to continue on after this, but I never wrote anything beyond that.**

**If I get reviews, then maybe i'll decide to continue. And update. Tell me what you think of it.**

**Reviews make me happy :D**

**So R&R! ...Or not, your choice, not mine (: .**

**(Seriously, reviews please.)**


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